Sucky Tech # 4 – Han Solo In Carbonite USB Drive

Han Solo Frozen in Carbonite USB jump drive. When I saw the headline for this item my Geek side went into overdrive. I was clicking the link with my mouse hand and reaching for my Visa with the other (difficult since I’m right handed, mouse with my right hand and keep my wallet on my right back pocket). Ecstasy quickly changed to utter disappointment when the page finally loaded.

First of all, it looks nothing like a young Harrison Ford. Second, the pose is way off. Legs are spread, what the hell? The hands aren’t even in the outstretched position you expect to see a person in when they are frozen in carbonite.

All you get is a cheesy knockoff piece of plastic where I would have to explain to people what it is. I want people to, when they see it, either say “Cool I want one?” or “You’re such a geek, I can’t believe you paid money for that”. When someone looks at this piece of crap I feel like I have to explain that it’s supposed to be Han Solo frozen in carbonite.

Third and last, it’s a one gigabyte jump drive. What the heck am I supposed to do with a 1 GB drive? Why do they make 1 GB anything these days? I wouldn’t even think of punishing my 5 year old with a 1 GB anything. I’d probably be ridiculed to death by him for how out of touch I am. I have lots of that coming when he’s a teenager. No reason to start now.

There should be a law against tech items that are due for the garbage before you get them home from the store. Just in time for Christmas though. If anybody buying something for me sees this item ... please get me anything else.