iBol Views

Sucky Tech # 4 – CellSocket

2008-11-26T08:00:00.000-08:00

Not sure why I’d want one of these. WHP Wireless has a device called the Cell Socket which is basically a cordless handset that you connect to your cellular phone. You can make and receive calls over your cellular line using this handset rather than on your cellular.

The company states, “No more searching your house for your cell phone ... no more missed calls”. Must be a generational thing but I am away from my cell phone when I’m in the shower or swimming. If anyone ever rolls out a waterproof smartphone I’d be interested.

The 4 cordless phones in my house on the other hand; are usually not in their cradles. My other half tends to bring it with her while yaking and leaves it wherever she stops yaking. This used to bother me except that now I don’t bother answering the home line at all. Anyone who needs to contact me, that I would actually want to talk to, will call my cellular.

It’s a big sucker compared to my HTC Diamond. Why would I rather carry around this bulky handset when my Diamond is about the size of a candy bar and fits in a pocket? And it has less features, it’s just a phone handset. It makes and receives calls. Thats all.

And it’s giving other people access to my mobile line. Why would you want to do that? I once lent my Mom my phone for a day when she had a lot of errands to run and Dad took his to work. Over the next month or so I kept getting calls from her friends asking, “Is your Mom there?” No, call her at home. This is my cell and I’m at work. There’s no take your mother to work day.

If they had a device to let me pick up calls from the land line on my cell I might be interested but hands off my cellular.

Do it yourself Breathalyser Tests

2008-11-25T08:00:00.000-08:00

Your drive home ever been interrupted for one of these? This iPod accessory I found on Slippery Brick has a fold out tube you can breathe into to test your blood alcohol content. Sure, it sounds s like a reasonable concept.

There have been numerous breath tests on the market but I don’t really think that someone dead set on driving home after a few beers with the boys is going to let blowing a little bit over on a not very accurate (can you save the test results and show it to a cop if you’re stopped?) test stop him. And the guy so far gone he can barely walk would probably have trouble using the test at all; assuming he remembers to stop and take it.

Doesn’t it make more sense to plan ahead and not drink unless you have a way of getting home? I love beer, but I have no trouble making arrangements prior to getting blasted. Are there really that many of us out there that will go out, have a few drinks, walk to the car, cross our fingers and hope we don’t blow over? I think that most of us can tell after getting up whether or not we should be driving, just by the number of drinks or the numbness in our head from standing. Those that still want to drive home, unfortunately, probably will.

You know what this device will really be used for? Bar bets. Who can blow the highest without not throwing up and such. Wish I had one when I was twenty something. Probably a lot more fun than who can drink the most shooters. My math abilities tend to decline with each drink and most establishments frown upon carving hash marks in their tables.

Sucky Tech # 05 – USB Barbecue

2008-11-24T08:00:00.000-08:00

How many dumb USB gadgets do you own? I have some and coveted even many more. But nothing says WTF like a USB powered barbecue. Not sure I can or need to explain the tech here. Take power from USB to make heat and cook something with it. Sure, it can be done, but what inspires someone to build it and where the frack do they plan to use it?

So you were thinking before that you didn’t like the smell of another co-worker microwaving popcorn in the kitchen. Now it’s, “Hey Bob, what’s cookin? No you can’t have my last Johnsonville Brat.”

Why not add a USB beer cooler to the ensamble? Or how about a tiny ethanol gel fire-pit for making smores after? Where’s my USB powered Margaritaville mixer?

And from the looks of the photo, you need thirty USB cables to power it. Guess this won’t be available for a Mac. When they roll out the USB 3 spec how many cables would you need? Hopefully then they can get this down to requiring only one USB hub to power it.

Sucky Tech # 4 – Han Solo In Carbonite USB Drive

2008-11-21T09:00:00.000-08:00

Han Solo Frozen in Carbonite USB jump drive. When I saw the headline for this item my Geek side went into overdrive. I was clicking the link with my mouse hand and reaching for my Visa with the other (difficult since I’m right handed, mouse with my right hand and keep my wallet on my right back pocket). Ecstasy quickly changed to utter disappointment when the page finally loaded.

First of all, it looks nothing like a young Harrison Ford. Second, the pose is way off. Legs are spread, what the hell? The hands aren’t even in the outstretched position you expect to see a person in when they are frozen in carbonite.

All you get is a cheesy knockoff piece of plastic where I would have to explain to people what it is. I want people to, when they see it, either say “Cool I want one?” or “You’re such a geek, I can’t believe you paid money for that”. When someone looks at this piece of crap I feel like I have to explain that it’s supposed to be Han Solo frozen in carbonite.

Third and last, it’s a one gigabyte jump drive. What the heck am I supposed to do with a 1 GB drive? Why do they make 1 GB anything these days? I wouldn’t even think of punishing my 5 year old with a 1 GB anything. I’d probably be ridiculed to death by him for how out of touch I am. I have lots of that coming when he’s a teenager. No reason to start now.

There should be a law against tech items that are due for the garbage before you get them home from the store. Just in time for Christmas though. If anybody buying something for me sees this item ... please get me anything else.

Sucky Tech # 3 - Trustpilot

2008-11-21T08:00:00.000-08:00

Trustpilot, a shining example of innovative tech that at first glance looks like something you might want or need, but on deeper analysis, maybe you’re better off seeing what other people are saying about this product before installing it on your own machine.

The Tech. It’s a toolbar you plug into your browser. You get a green light for a site that has positive reviews. Orange for a site with average ratings and reviews. Red light for sites with mostly negative reviews and complaints. Ratings come from the company scanning the net for reviews and ratings from all across the web and compiling it in their database. Sounds like a great tool.

Have you ever made positive comments about a commercial transaction where all that happened was that you got what you expected? This scenario covers pretty much most of my online transactions. I’ve bought a lot of things where I have paid, waited for my stuff and got it. Never inspired me to go back to the site and write a glowing review.

It makes me sceptical of the people who do write these positive reviews unless they had some special request and got some kind of exceptional service. Plus, if this kind of review aggregation and statistical analysis became popular couldn’t you game the system by writing rave reviews of your own products and services?
Bad reviews on the other hand I can understand. No need to explain what kinds of things inspire enough outrage to cause people to make their displeasure public. On the other hand, some people are just dumb.

A year or two back I was scouring the net looking for a good price for an A/V receiver that had HDMI out. One review I read on the negatives for a Yamaha receiver on the Future Shop website read, “... only passes HD video through HDMI to the TV, won’t pass 5.1 surround sound to TV.” To the uninitiated looking for the best bang for his buck, this would seem to be lacking an important feature.

This made me wish there was a forum for reviewing the reviewers. Never heard of 5.1 surround coming out of a TV. The Sony Bravia, probably one of the best sounding TV’s out there right now, only has two speakers. I may be wrong but I don’t think that there is a TV with more than two speakers. If it did have four speakers + center channel + subwoofer, how big is the frickin TV? Do you sit inside it? The whole reason for buying a 5.1 channel receiver is to put the speakers around you.

The point is, looking at raw stats without examining the context is not going to give you a clear picture of the story. The raw number of complaints may be valuable if a site or company has a lot of pissed off customers but people need to take a broader sample to get to the facts. People who are unsatisfied for any reason are vocal. Most of the time, satisfied customers are not.

Make money gaming, quitting my day job

2008-11-21T05:39:00.000-08:00

I finally found a way to eventually be able to quit my day job and play video games to feed my wife and kids. Gonna be living the dream.

Crunch Gear had a posting recently about Bring It, an online gaming site where you can play games against others for money. The idea was cool. Put up a few bucks for an online frag fest. Last man standing takes the pot. Wish I came up with that one. I'm going to have to keep an eye on this one.

Brings me to my advertising idea. With Xbox Live rolling out new avatars for your Xbox experience there is now an opportunity for different kind of online advertising that is trackable and verifyable. Nobody looks at banner ads anymore. Most of us, I am one of these, spend enough time online that we have conditioned ourselves to not even look at banner ads. Unless of course there is a scantily clad, well endowed woman in the banner. This method of advertising is tried and true and will never stop being a hit depending on your target market.

But how about T-Shirts for your Avatar? Think about it. Coke looks for people who are logged into Live a lot, interact with a lot of different people, win a lot of battles, whatever. Pay these guys to wear a Coke T-Shirt on their Avatar. You can pay people based on verifiable statistics based on criteria you set for them. Need to play these types of games, need to be on this game or that, need to talk about our product, etc. How about a simple T-Shirt with your website or blog's URL?

Now I just gotta get a way to sell it to Microsoft. Any programmers out there want to help me put together an Avatar T-Shirt Store? Fire me an e-mail.

Sucky Tech # 2 – Safe Bedside Table

2008-11-20T08:00:00.000-08:00

Don’t really count this one as tech but I found it too humorous to not pass on.

This inconspicuous looking bedside table quickly converts into a beating stick and shield. Beating stick I can understand but the shield? Unless your bedroom is likely to be invaded by Barbarians, Vikings or the Mongol Horde do you really need a shield?

And wouldn’t it be easier to keep an aluminum softball bat under the bed? Full sized bats too heavy for you? Why not check out the smaller bats they make for the pee-wee leagues. Unless you’re trained to use a shield in combat I’m not so sure the two foot shield that comes with this set will be of much use. Other than being preposterous enough that while the intruder is thinking “WTF?” and laughing; you get a chance to club him good. Unless of course he just shoots you.

Personal defence close at hand; sounds like a marketable idea but lose the shield. I would have a higher chance of having my brother or one of my kids using this on me than I would bother to put on a shield to defend against someone in my home. Kind of ironic that they say that about guns too kinda.

NASA lying about death of Spirit Mars Rover

2008-11-19T08:01:00.000-08:00

We’ve been hearing a lot about the impending and eventual death of the Spirit Mars Rover lately. NASA’s official story has been recommended budget cuts in the Mars Rover program to cover the cost of a next-generation rover project some time in the future.

The twin rovers (Spirit and Opportunity) landed on the Red Planet in January 2004 and have been providing us humans with up close and personal information on Mars. Their original mission was to last 90 days, after which, it was questionable as to how long the rovers would survive the planets harshness.

According to NASA, “The pervasive dust in the martian atmosphere, as well as dust settling onto the machinery, impedes the ability of the rovers' solar panels to convert sunlight into enough electricity to supply the their needs. One critical need is to protect each rover's "vital organs" of internal computer, electronics, heaters and batteries from becoming so cold that something might, quite literally, snap.”

We the general public have been led to believe that poor spirit has been left to die on the Red Planet’s surface. Special thanks to John Fischetti for providing the world the truth about the real fate of Spirit. As far as the reasons why NASA is keeping the fate of Spirit and the discovery of sentient life in our galaxy is anyone’s guess.

Filthy Jawas. Opportunity was unavailable for comment at this time. We’re all pulling for you little guy.

Sucky Tech # 1 – Equifax Over 18 I-Card

2008-11-18T08:00:00.000-08:00

I come across a lot of innovative uses for technology where the application of that technology is less than stellar. This is the first of a series of posts I’m going to call Sucky Tech. The honour of the first posting for Sucky Tech goes to Equifax and their Over 18 I-Card.

First the tech; in order to get your Over 18 I-Card you just log into the site and provide information similar to accessing your credit report. The system then provides you with an electronic method of verifying your age online. And it’s compatible with Windows, Mac and Linux. It’s pretty much all downhill from there.

First, I don’t want information similar to accessing my credit report on anything to do with the internet. ARS Technica reports that, “Contrary to some reports about I-Card, Equifax doesn't directly tie the I-Card to your driver's license or passport; as long as you hand over a valid social security number ...”

Maybe the way to really screw over Americans is different than how to screw over Canadians, but up here north of the border, I would prefer that my driver’s license information be let loose to the world than my social insurance number.

Most age verification tools I have come across ask for a credit card. Isn’t this less riskier than your credit information? You can always cancel a card and get a new one. Most of the major credit card companies are pretty good at protecting you from fraud these days.

What does anyone use age verification for other than porn? Not sure what else you would want to surf on that would require you to be of the age of consent other than for viewing and/or buying pornography. And if you’re surfing porn on the net, do you really want a lot of personal identification tied to your surfing habits?

Another great idea on the tech side, another great failure on the application of it.

Keep Your Hands Off My TOK715

2008-11-17T08:00:00.000-08:00

So Apple and Google each have a new app that (in my opinion) was designed to sell more handsets; though not in the way you might expect. The Punch-O-Meter for Android and a similar app for the iPhone (not sure what it’s called, don’t use iAnything) both sound interesting at first glance. The app makes use of your Smartphone’s accelerometer; you start it up, hold it firmly (hopefully) and take your best punch in the air. Then you get a read-out of your manliness or lack of it.

For innovative or imaginative use of technology I’d give this about an eight. As for how much I want it on my phone; it’s pretty much a big fat zero. First of all, from my experience with three boys and a Wii, the idea of taking an electronic device and giving them a reason to swing it violently is an invitation for someone getting smacked or other items in your home getting broken.

Secondly, you know somebody’s going to fling their phone. Ever hear stories of people damaging their new iPhone’s screen from dropping it? What happens to it when you let go of it after swinging it as hard as possible? As a business model, for retailers this is probably the best app ever. Why bother with a planned obsolescence scheme when you can get people to actively destroy their devices? There’s some benefit for the rest of us as well. I’m just giddy with anticipation for the posts and stories from all the people that have flung their phones onto the floor, into walls, into the toilet, whatever.

Third, this is the kind of app where the novelty wears off pretty quickly. So you download it and try it out a few times until you’re satisfied you’ve attained your best score possible. Then you move on to your spouse, kids, whoever is handy. With luck you’ve out done them. If not; you keep trying until you do or else you find away to cheat it / hack it so that you can retain some of your vanity.

So now you’ve bested (or cheated) the wife and kids and need to move on to bigger challenges. You show your friends, co-workers, random strangers on the street. Then what? It doesn’t do much else if you’re using it for the designer’s original intentions. But where does it go from there? Here are some options.

Tired of swinging at thin air? You know people are going to do this one, “Hey Bob, you punch me and I’ll punch you, we’ll see who punches the hardest.”

How about testing the limits of your vehicle? How many stars can you get by accelerating really fast and braking really hard? You know some teenagers are going to try this out. Glad my new house is on a cul-de-sac. I’m hanging back a few extra meters from anybody from now on.

The porn and sex toy industry is bound to get in on this technology. They’ve already come out with an iPhone vibrator accessory for men; yeah that’s right; a vibrator ring you plug your iPhone into. For those of you who require elaboration or are into purchasing one you can find it here. When you see a co-worker making call after call but not actually talking to anybody I’d give him some privacy. The women are well represented in this market as well. Their slogan is “Feel the music”. Not sure if I’d be classical, hard rock or metal. Perhaps start with some Kenny G and finish off with some Metallica. This gives us some new Shake to Shuffle options anyway.

I’m sure it won’t be long until this technology is hacked from a recording of your start stop motion to actively displaying a constant reading of the device in motion. It’ll change things from “Slow, now Faster, Faster, Faster” to “Two stars baby ... Yeah that’s it, now gimme three stars ... FIVE STARS! FIVE STARS! FIVE STARS!”

Ahh the wonders of technology; we have come so far from flipping through National Geographic topless African women. As for me, I’m holding out for Cyberdyne Systems to roll out their TOK715 model Terminator. Wonder if it’ll be user customizable? I love Summer Glau but wouldn’t it be great if you could mix and match? Hope Apple doesn’t build it though. When it comes time to replace the battery who knows what the techs will be doing with it ones it’s out of your sight. You can borrow my car; I’d even let you have a sip of my Coke without wiping the rim but keep your hands (or anything else) off my TOK715.

FEMA Educates Firefighters on UFOs; Why Not the Rest of Us?

2008-11-15T08:25:00.000-08:00

Found an interesting post on Gizmodo regarding a FEMA manual for firefighters on disaster control. Pretty understandable for a federal agency like FEMA to want to standardize responses to emergency situations but this six hundred some pages contain a chapter on what to do in the event of UFO encounter related emergencies.

The question in my mind is; if FEMA is dedicating resources to this then: (1) Why is the public not made aware of this chapter in the guide and (2) why isn’t this type of emergency response plan taught in our schools to our children? Since FEMA thinks all knowledge should be in the hands of the federal government and its first responders I thought I’d publish an emergency list of advice of my own that I’ve compiled from whatever UFO material there is that the public is allowed access to.

Some aliens dissolve in water. If approached by a hostile alien and you have no alternative; try throwing water on them. Apparently this may also works for witches. Try to keep a bottle of water or filled squirt gun within reach at all times in the event that you find yourself in either of these types of encounters.

Stranded aliens will try to make use of our resources to Phone Home for a pickup. Unless you have a good data plan you may want to secure your smartphone to avoid really obscene long distance charges. These aliens are generally non-violent and can easily be distracted by candy. Yeah, in some ways they are smart (interstellar travel), but in other ways they’re pretty dumb (eating candy off the ground).

When aliens “come in peace” and appear to look just like us be wary. If you get a chance, try to scratch the skin of one. They may be reptilian creatures in disguise, here to process us for snacks. If you suspect a friend or neighbour of being one of these aliens leave small rodents in their presence and check for a Pavlovian response. Call 911 immediately should this occur.

In some situations alien technology can be disrupted with computer viruses. A good way to obtain these viruses is by using Limewire or searching for porn using IE5. FEMA is currently working in cooperation with Microsoft to keep IE5 available to the public.

When your Corellian Cruiser is boarded by aliens dressed in white armor led by an alien in black armor looking for secret plans, just give up the ambassador. Claiming that you’re on a diplomatic mission will not help and will probably just anger the guy in charge.

FEMA’s directives currently only address emergencies as a result of an alien invasion. Should you have an emergency related to Ghosts, Werewolves or Godzilla like creatures you’re pretty screwed for now.

Top Ten Toys That Aren’t Really Toys

2008-11-11T08:00:00.000-08:00

After reading yet another post commenting on the National (American) Museum of Play inducting “The Stick” into its National Toy Hall of Fame it got me thinking of how and why. My first thought; is the economic crisis getting that desperate? If so it’s going to be a crappy Christmas for the unfortunate children south of our border. Or maybe it’s just that the American Industrial Machine is just finally grinding to a halt. Either way, isn’t it kind of sad that you’re Toy Hall of Fame includes things that aren’t toys?

I know, it inspires creativity and imagination and requires the child to use his own brain but c’mon; it’s not a toy. At the most it is a part of a toy, or the basis for a toy ... but not a toy in itself. By itself; you got to admit; is pretty lame. This inspired me to create my top ten list of Toys That Aren’t Really Toys but Were a Lot of Fun Anyway.

10. Pots and pans. Wasn’t this the basis for everybody’s first set of drums? I don’t think we have any in our house that don’t have nicks and dings in them.

9. Ice Cubes. Somebody falling asleep for a nap in the afternoon was beautiful in my household. An ice cube positioned just at the top of the person’s pillow melts slow enough that by the time it slides down to the person, melts and wakes him up you can be long gone; giggling all the way. And who didn’t ever put ice down someone’s shirt or pants?

8. The rock. Hey, why not? It is the basis for a lot of other great things. Give a kid a rock and who knows where his imagination will lead. From breaking windows to pelting other kids; the combinations are limitless. Match The Rock with The Stick and you have anything from a crude game of stick ball or a combination of long range and short range weapons. We all know the saying, “It’s all fun ‘till somebody gets hurt”. No need for clocks, timers or referees ... when the other side starts crying, time for lunch.

7. Rubber bands. So cheap and yet so versatile; the rubber band did so many things from powering balsa wood airplanes, to firing paperclips at people’s butts in the hallway. Lacking some materials? No problem, just fire the whole rubber band.

6. Snowballs. If you’re putting together a list of stuff we used as toys that in itself was not a toy, how can you leave out snowballs? Ever wonder how many of us openly aspire to a non-violent society while our childhood games and toys seemed to always have something to do with hitting or throwing or launching projectiles at each other?

5. Bugs. Spider fights were fun. For those of you who I lost on this one, when you put two spiders together they generally fight and spin the looser into a webby ball. What fun it was searching through the backyard and empty fields for that special spider that could beat everybody else’s. And catching grasshoppers was something I enjoyed so much as a kid. I tried to catch some this summer for my boys and all I succeeded in doing was getting my pants dirty and bruising my knees.

4. Rotten Fruit. I’m sure this didn’t make it into everybody’s list but growing up in the Okanagan Valley we had fruit trees in the backyard and when you have access to all that fruit, you generally got sick of eating it all the time. Every fall there would be some nice and juicy fallen fruit in the backyard to throw at each other. Not as painful as a rock but can get really gross and sticky. What fun it was.

3. Little brothers. Now I know that we weren’t all blessed with little brothers; but mine was lots of fun. I’m sure we all have stories of things we’ve done and had things done to us. I could fill a novel with my own anecdotes so I’ll stick with one. In our old house growing up, the upstairs hallway was narrow enough that you could put one leg on each side and climb up to the top. Fun, but even more fun was getting the brother to try it while you pulled a leg out watching him fall. The trick was to not get a pile of little brother falling on top of you.

2. Keys. What babies didn’t have a plastic ring of toy keys? When babies are crying and we don’t have anything handy what do we do? We shake our keys in front of them. It’s probably a good reason why I have so many in my key ring; some kind of psychological attachment. Next time you’re boss leaves you with an asinine project or request that makes you just want to break down and cry, try jingling your keys in front of you. Maybe it’ll calm you down. I bet you couldn’t do it now without chuckling.

1. The Finger. C’mon admit it. Wasn’t this a lot of fun at the right age? Give someone the finger out the back seat of dad’s car. Didn’t it give you the chuckles knowing that the other guys couldn’t get you? Didn’t you get the giggles when a teacher would point with his middle finger? Especially when it got aimed at a friend you knew would share in the joke right away.

e-Etch-a-sketch?

2008-11-10T19:30:00.000-08:00

Saw this post from Gizmodo this morning regarding an electronic etch-a-sketch.The title for this post captured my sense of nostalgia enough for me to want to read more.

Record your etch-a-sketch art to memory. That's about as interesting as it gets. The question toy manufacturers need to ask themselves after they figure out what the toy does is, "Then what?" Take a step back to your etch-a-sketch days; were you ever able to draw anything of value on it? Maybe some of you, but for most of us our chance of being able to draw something we would actually be proud of enough to save and display to others is slim.

Take a plain old plastic sword. You can try to capture the imagination by adding lights, sounds, popular movie effects, what have you. Rolling it out as a light sabre makes money. Then what? I have three boys. When the novelty of the fact it's a light sabre wears out, whacking each other is still loads of fun whether it's a cool lightsabre or cheap cardboard tube.

Think about the best etch-a-sketch art you've ever seen. Sure, it'll get a "WOW" from you. You may even want to paste some clips to an e-mail to all your friends. But did you ever think it was worth saving past that? I may be wrong but I doubt there are any museums displaying etch-a-sketch art on the walls. If there are any I'm sure they're not in the Pacific Rim; the thought of an earthquake erasing all those masterpieces would definitely affect their insurance premiums.

Maybe that would be the target market for this toy. Novel art frames for hip new coffee shops and cafes where wall art can be pre-loaded with etch-a-sketched art and refreshed every now and then. Not all bad an idea though ... but mostly bad. Still, I bet it reloads faster than Windows.

My Dream PC

2008-11-06T21:57:00.000-08:00

Stumbled upon this promising site from Asus. http://www.wepc.com/dream Basically, they’re crowdsourcing for ideas on your dream PC. I put in my two cents and am hoping to see my dream come true in the near future.

I am enamoured with the idea of a netbook. Low power and battery consumption for when you’re mobile. Great when you’re mobile. Sucks when you’re not. As much as I love the idea of the netbook I can’t justify limiting myself with a low powered PC. I don’t game as often as I used to ... but I do. I don’t convert video all that often anymore ... but I do. I can’t bear the thought of buying a netbook and a high end notebook just for myself. How do I keep all my stuff in sync between them? Myself, my wife, 3 kids and every TV in the house needs a PC as well. Can’t afford two of them just for me.

Can’t even really justify buying a netbook for my kids. My four year old started playing Spore; he wants to do everything his older brother does. The older boy’s taste in games outgrew the idea of any machine without dedicated graphics processing by the age of six. The only people in the family who would make use of a netbook would be me (a lot of the time now. sigh, sad how things have become) and my two year old (for now). Even at two years old he can navigate to IE (trying to get him to recognize the Firefox logo but hey, he’s two, there’s still hope for him) and pick from ‘Favorites’. He’s content with Treehouse, PBS Kids flash based stuff and Youtube for now but I don’t know how long it will last.

Here’s my list of things I want in my dream machine. Comments? If our lists match please get to WEPC and get these features into a real machine.

- Like the netbook but need it to do more. Current EEE OK but I need it to dock to a station that provides access to beefier processing power, DVD/Blu Ray, keyboard & mouse, other cool stuff.

- Not enough to just dock to a station for using peripherals. The dream needs to be more than just a port replicator / peripheral hub. The netbook should be able make use of extra processing power, RAM, GPU, etc. when docked. The end result should be a no compromises made solution geeks wet dream machine.

- User customizable / upgradable station. I want to be able to walk into my local computer shack, buy whatever pieces I want and slap it in. When nVidia releases a new card and I get approval from the finance committee (wife) to buy it I want to buy it and slap it in. I don’t want to buy a new station (take a hint already Apple, and I guess every other notebook out in the wild). When Sony roles out the next gen Blu Ray (this is likely, they don’t seem that consumer friendly anymore) I want to pull out the old and slap in the new one.

- 200mm fans. I love the 200mm on the top of my Antec 900. Bigger fan, more air at slower speeds, less noise. Smaller fan, more air if spinning faster, more noise. Makes sense to me. The station should to have 200mm fans on top, rear and both sides. And they should light up too. Why not?

- Liquid cooling? Hey, if you’re going to dream, dream big. Maybe we’ll call this optional.

- Really, really, really, important one; if you’re going to make white ones that’s OK; just don’t make me pay extra for a black one. (Apple Fanboys can chime in on this one but even for a dieharderer, Jobs is the tech messiah, you got to admit that that was a really crappy thing for Apple to do).

- Give us HDMI. I have HDMI on my TV’s and I know where to buy others. If you want to give us Display Port that’s OK, just give us a choice. And if you really want us to use Display Port, can you at least offer us a monitor that uses it? Or at the very minimum, give us one free adaptor when you ship it to us?

That’s my dream machine so far. Fingers crossed that we see something cool in the near future.

My Five Awesomest

2008-11-05T22:57:00.000-08:00

I love top ten lists, in this case top five, even better when they’re sci-fi themed. This was a fun one on Engadget at http://blog.wired.com/gadgets/2008/11/the-five-awesom.html titled, “Five Awesomest TV and Movie Spaceships”. Charlie Sorrel had five awesome picks for sure but I had to chime in on five awesomer ones.

Before I get to my five I need to do a little house keeping. I love reading where Star Wars fans point out inconsistencies and errors in the series I hold beloved, however, when I hear comments regarding how star fighters and other space craft should not have sound effects since “Vacuums (in space) don't carry mechanical sound waves” I need to scream at somebody (I’ll save you all from the All Caps though).

First of all, the engines should make noises. The fact that sound waves do not carry through space are undeniable but it doesn’t mean that these vessels are silent. Doesn’t the sound of a Tie Fighter screaming past you on screen accurately recreate what you would expect a Twin Ion Engine to sound like?

The sounds shouldn’t carry through space. True. No argument from me. Doesn’t mean you, the guy viewing the movie, shouldn’t be able to hear it. You, the guy viewing the movie, shouldn’t be able to breathe either. You should be pretty cold too. When the Death Star exploded, do these people complain that they were not hit by debris?

And wouldn’t it be dumb if in every space scene you had dead silence? I hate silent moments in movie theatres. That’s when I’m most cognisant of the munching, coughing and talking. Especially so if the noise is coming from me. If I remember from my childhood, Star Wars got special attention from critics and the Oscars, not just for special effects, but for sound effects and soundtrack.

I can understand Darth Vader liking the idea of the imperial march playing as he boarded rogue Corellian Cruisers looking for stolen plans to the Death Star. I can picture the sound guys behind him carrying the speakers. But shouldn’t you see the others in the Star Wars universe looking around wondering where the music keeps coming from?

Bottom line, sound effects add to the movie experience. Nuff said on that. I think that what makes these lists fun is not so much what made the lists but why they made the list. Here’s my awesome five and why they’re awesomer.

MOYA: Does a Leviathan count as a space ship or a creature? They used Leviathans as spacecraft so I’m including it on my list. The awesome; it’s an original concept as sci-fi goes and their ability to Starburst through tears in the space/time continuum ... way cool.

STAR LEAGUE GUNSTARS: When the universe is counting on you to defend the frontier against Xur and the Ko-Dan Armada what other fighter would you want to be piloting. The cool; it carried a lot of munitions. Enough to decimate the entire Ko-Dan Armada with one GUNSTAR. The last Gunstar in fact. And easy to drive. A kid growing up in a trailer park could learn to fly one by just spending enough time with a simulator and a pocket full of quarters. As a Starfighter however; you had to be able to get past any cultural, racial, etc. biases since your navigator/co-pilot could be black, white, lizard, whatever.

BORG CUBES: The design was brilliant in its simplicity. Vacuum of space ... no wind resistance ... no need for a streamlined ship. Unmatched in defensive and offensive capabilities. Resistance is futile ... I can relate. I was assimilated into another collective, assigned a number and spend five days a week in a cube as well.

THE EXECUTOR: The Star Destroyer was the symbol of fear and oppression recognized throughout the galaxy, well, a long time ago it was anyway. Imperial Class Star Destroyers house enough firepower to bombard and decimate a planet. The Dreadnaught class of star destroyers were all of the same but bigger. Darth Vader’s ship, the Executor had all this, plus there was a good chance the Dark Lord was onboard for the ride. You want Shock and Awe ... just at the sight of the Executor coming out of light speed in your quadrant would make you wish your ship could make the Kessel Run in less than 6 parsecs (that would twice as fast as the Millennium Falcon for the uninitiated).

SPACEBALL 1: Forget the Death Star. Sure, it could destroy a planet but it has a very very very bad weak spot. And it’s slow. It took forever for it to get into range to destroy Yavin 4. Spaceball 1, in my opinion, was the most lethal killing machine in the universe. Not only was it big. It was really big. Not sure of the specific statistics but ludicrous speed seemed pretty fast. When the Galactica spins up its FTL drive you don’t see anybody reaching for the nearest post. The crew of Spaceball 1 showed some fear at the thought of jumping to ludicrous speed. The Jedi had the ability to sense future events. The Spaceballs had the technology to look into the past and fast forward into the future. Bet they didn’t have to pay late fees either. But most of all, the power to suck all the oxygen from an entire planet leaving them gasping for one last breath; now that’s power. Anyway, evil will always triumph because good is dumb.

A side note for the ubergeeks: Yes, I know a parsec is a measurement of distance (equivalent to 3.26 light years) of distance and not a measure of time. Harrison Ford was Han Solo, Indiana Jones and Jack Ryan, that’s enough cool to forgive some 1977 era sci-fi dialogue. But think about it on another level, the Falcon made the Kessel Run in less distance than others. Folding Space? Moving without moving. No Spice involved. That would kill the Emperor’s (other emperor, Shaddam Corrino IV) commercial monopoly on the Spice trade. Probably made some Fremin happy.

Butt Power ... Where Do We Go From There?

2008-11-04T20:41:00.001-08:00

I’m a fan of alternate energy. I love reading about advances in wind and solar, but I almost busted a gut at my desk laughing, not from reading the article itself, but from imagining the people using this. I have to give special thanks to Sean Fallon at Gizmodo for providing me with my topic for today. I couldn’t have hoped to see a better application of the idea for this post if I wrote it myself.

http://gizmodo.com/5076433/bicycle-seat-generator-harnesses-the-power-of-your-butt

The idea is sound. The device attaches below the bicycle seat and generates power from the compression of the seat springs. The stored power can be used for lights, other portable devices. Sounds great.

What hit my funny bone was the picture in my head of people doing a little extra bouncing on their bike seats to get a little more juice into their iPods. Harnessing the unused kinetic energy for generating power is great but some of these ideas make for more humorous ideas than practical solutions.

A few years back I bought a couple of those Forever Flashlights. The ones you shake to charge, last forever and never need batteries. I was in love with the idea. The tech was simple but the application brilliant. It worked fine. The earlier versions didn’t get very bright but there have been advances in LED technology and the current versions of this make a decent emergency flashlight.

As much as I love the tech, I haven’t used it in years for two reasons. First, you have to shake it vigorously. Maybe I’m just lazy but I find the crank wheel variation of this strains my arm less. Second, I can’t charge the damn flashlight without breaking out in laughter.

The first time I came to this realization that I could not charge this flashlight in a public place withouth a childish grin was the first time my wife came downstairs to ask what was so funny. “Nothing dear”, my reply, “Just sitting here in the dark charging my flashlight”. Picture me with the lights off vigorously shaking this foot long cylinder up and down.

Can you picture it? “You’ve been in the bathroom a while Johnny. Are you OK?” “Yeah ... Mom ... just ... charging ... my ... iPod. Kind of fitting though. The porn industry helped spur the internet industry. Maybe masturbation sex toys can help green the planet.

Arcade buttons anywhere on me, no thanks

2008-11-03T19:54:00.000-08:00

This article from Gizmodo (Jason Chen) came in on my RSS feed and it kinda hit my tickle spot.
http://gizmodo.com/5075444/supermandolini-high-quality-arcade-buttons-are-made-from-arcade-buttons

Aparently you can buy old arcade game buttons and pin them on your shirt, jacket, pants, whatever. Kind of a neat idea Jason but after a little thought on the idea had me chuckling and saying, "Nope, not for me".

My family, brother, cousins, friends, etc. are pretty male dominated and for many of us, it's funny when somebody gets hurt; not serious injuries; by definition that wouldn't be funny ... or it wouldn't be serious.

The idea of putting PUNCH or KICK any where on my body is an invitation for abuse. Ever hear the term "Cruisin for a Bruisin"? This is an engraved invitation.

Putting BLOCK on my chest would be just as bad. This invites a good punch followed by the comments, "Good block" or "You should have blocked" while I'm on the ground sucking wind.

So at the end of reading this article I'm less interested in buying some of these for myself. Maybe I just need to buy them and find a way to sneak these buttons onto others so they can be the ones sucking wind. Maybe I just need new friends.

What is with this fascination with the Kindle?

2008-11-02T19:55:00.000-08:00

Somebody out there give me some kind of reasonable justification for the kindle. Something that answers what would make me want to spend in excess of $300 on a device that lets you read books and not much else.

Why the sudden hate on for the kindle? First of all, Oprah says it’s her fave and suddenly it boosts Kindle sales? Don’t know the gal personally but I don’t see tech advice flowing from her. Then I see Popular Mechanics list the Kindle in its 10 Most Brilliant Gadgets of the Year and the juices started flowing.

Sure, regarding the E Ink display, on the basis of tech coolness by itself is neat-O; but as far as the application of the technology goes it’s pretty much a yawner. Have a look at the black and greyscale screen. Reminds of me of my old Gameboy but with more buttons.

OK so now I can read text on it rather than carrying a book. Fantastic innovation ... five years ago maybe. Shouldn’t we already be able to do on a laptop, smartphone, media player? Can’t we build an app to run on a smartphone for text reading rather than carry around another electronic device?

And it’s a white device to boot. Do I need to go back into why I don’t want a white device of any kind? I’ll keep it short ... Cheetos. The long version can be found in my 2008-11-02 post titled Give Me Back My Frickin Delete Key.

Text on screen is so limiting anyway. Don’t audio books fit in better with most people’s lives? I can listen to a book while driving. Why are we pushing to ban phone use while driving but not Kindle use as well? Some of you out there might snicker at this but there are a lot of morons out there. I’ve passed guys on MacLeod Trail in rush hour with the morning newspaper on the steering wheel in front of them. Can’t legislate away stupidity. Better start promoting options instead.
Ever almost get stepped on by somebody reading a book on a crowed train going to or coming from work because they’re not holding on? Didn’t you want to chuck their fracking book out the window? Didn’t audio books sound even better now?

Audible.com has tons of titles and the list is growing. And they have kids books too. Think of the time savings. Give Billy and Sue a goodnight kiss, put on their headphones and flip on a good book. More time for a little Xbox action for Dad.

Give Me Back My Frickin Delete Key

2008-11-02T19:50:00.000-08:00

Came across an interesting post on Gizmodo the other day. http://gizmodo.com/5073637/fanboy-fever-explained-through-science The short of it for those who hate clicking through people's links to other stories (I include myself in this category most of the time); a Professor Semir Zeki of University College London (I have a hate on for the term University College by the way. Are they trying to that make it sound like a higher end College or a lower end University? But that’s a rant for another day), sought to explore the difference between love and hate in the human mind. The conclusion, hate tends to be more rational than love.

Dan Nosowitz at first appears to have had been on the ball by stating Fanboy Fever Explained Through Science. Had me intrigued and got my clicks. He makes some reasonable and believable comments supporting this. But then he says this study is an overgeneralization. C'mon Dan, you had me in your camp up to your wrap up. I think this Prof Semir is right on target and gives some credibility to something up sure many of us believes to be true. Let’s explore some facts.

Keyboards. Fanboys love the Mac keyboard. Irrational. Help me understand how one can be so enamoured with a keyboard? I love the "chiclet design" says one, referring to how the keys are spaced individually. Doesn't this look more like keys for an old calculator, not hardware you just paid a Mac premium for? And it infuriates me that Apple took away the backspace key. Or more accurately, they took away the delete key and renamed Backspace to Delete. So when using a Mac and you want to Backspace you Delete and when you want to Delete you need to go to the end of the text to be deleted and press delete so that it backspaces over your text. Why? What for? WTF does this do for us? What possible benefit for mankind does this represent? Does Apple provide a user manual to prepare you for this madness? I use both Backspace and Delete. Any Mac Fanboys out there want to answer this? At work I bet a lot of you use a Windows machine on a Windows keyboard. Don't you use both at work? C'mon, be honest. You know you do. I've used both Delete and Backspace several times just writing this. Want to know why "Once you go Mac you never go Back"? Once you're used to this insanity it's probably hard to come back to earth. That’s like saying once schizophrenia sets in, it’s in.

I can always boot into Windows when I need to. Is this really a sane argument for a Mac? A lot of what I love and use is in Windows. I'm not paying a Mac premium just to log into Windows all day long. I just paid a premium for a Mac, now I got to go out and buy a copy of Windows too? Don't get me fired up on the Backspace Delete tangent. Just did that last paragraph. I like Office. It syncs beautifully with my phone. I use it every day at work. I use it even more for personal contacts, appointments, tasks, etc. Games, I don't think I even need to elaborate on that one. The myriad of software made for Windows.

Mac software is so easy to use. Huh? Windows isn't? Let me tell you a story about my oldest son at the age of six. Fun day at the school. Wife volunteers as a helper. Brings along the camera. Boy comes home and wants to look at the pictures. Sure son, let me put them on the computer so you can see them better. People like viewing pictures on their cameras. I can't understand why but it’s so easy to offload onto your computer. The SD card just slides into the slot on all my notebooks. Unless you happen have a Mac ... then no SD slot for you. Guess they figured people didn't really need that. You could put a card reader into your Express Port though ... oh yeah, can't do that on a Mac either. But I'll rant on that later. Back to the boy. I had not used Windows movie maker. I had been using something else that I really love using that I won't name here since rather than buying it I ... uh ... acquired it through other means. Sitting by himself viewing the photos in an Explorer window he had fell upon Windows Movie Maker. By himself he was able to create a slideshow, add background music, create a title, and make comments on each picture. When did he need my help? "Daddy", he says, "do we have a blank DVD?" I needed to show him where I kept my blank disks. He was pretty proud about how he brought his movie to school and the class got to watch. I bet the teacher thought Daddy helped. My involvement was pretty little.

So, on to ports. People talk to the sleekness of case design on the Mac. Do you really want to get rid of ports? My Inspiron 9400 had six USB ports and I loved it. Never needed a hub until I got a XPS 1330. I like it but it really could have had more than two USB ports. No card reader on a MacBook? Take away the 3.5 floppy, yeah I saw some logic in that but they did it kind of soon. When they took that away I was still using floppies for a couple years. But an SD card reader? Any Mac fanboys out there want to explain to me why you wouldn't want this? This should be interesting. An express port. Sure, there are not a lot of peripherals out there but there are some. If wireless data ever gets cheaper here in Canada I wouldn't mind internet on my notebook anywhere I happen to be. If I had a Mac I'd definitely want an express port for an SD card reader. They're making SSD's that slide into Express Port. Once the prices come to a more sane level I really really want one. Right now my Express Port is used for storing the remote for my notebook. Not really a high tech use for this but it's handy. It clicks right in and I haven't lost that little remote yet.

I both love to hear about and have a raging hate on for the posts I've come across where people talk about how they switched to Mac and their last brand new Windows machine that took ten minutes to boot. Ten minutes to boot? WTF were you using. x86 running 3.11? I find this mind boggling as I've never run across this personally. It takes longer than a Mac. Sure hope that Microsoft works on that for Windows 7. But c'mon, enough with the over exaggeration. If not over exaggeration, then I guess all I can say is that you shouldn't put your faith in retail PC manufacturers installing software. I like to get a new laptop with a shiny new and blank hard drive so I know exactly what’s on it. If I can't get it empty, next best bet is format and install it all yourself. Here's where the benefits of the Mac for me shine. I give this advice on what to do with your computer. Somebody says I'm buying a new computer at Best Buy and don't know how to do that can you help? My advice? Buy a Mac. Benefit for them; no crapware loaded machine. Benefit for me; don't need to teach someone potentially unteachable. There's lots of how to's on the net. Extra benefit, same guy says I can't do this or that on my Mac. Sorry, can't help you, I don't use a Mac. Leaves more free time for me. Thanks Steve Jobs for the easy out.

I don't play games. I use my computer for surfing the net and viewing media. $1,300 Mac and $300 netbook both do this. I know this is oversimplification but it sounds both beautiful and concise. I think that for the average person who buys a Mac for what it can do is kind of overspending at $1,300 for a 13” machine. Since the G4 stopped rolling out it’s all PC hardware. The only thing that makes it a Mac is the keyboard, the OS and Apples crushing grip over what its customers can and can’t do with the hardware they bought.

I find this one incredibly mind boggling. $1,300 for a shiny new white Mac. For a couple hundred more you can get a black one. Doesn't this make you want to slap Steve Jobs in the face? My last white electronic device? The original Gameboy back in 199x. After my first Gameboy and bag of Cheetos I soon discovered the folly of buying a white anything that I actually want to touch and hold. I recall watching a Cnet review on a new phone (don't recall which one) and the young lady made a comment that it was only available in black. Oh to be that young and naive once more. Boy I feel old.

Vista doesn't work. From my experience it's more or less XP prettied up. Some navigation changed. Got used to it with 95 and XP, getting used to Vista. Having Vista problems? Should have done some research on what hardware works and what doesn't. I did. My Vista issues came at the beginning. Vista was two months new and I built a new machine with a mainboard that had a built in RAID controller. No Vista driver for this existed. Sucks for me but it was short term and I knew it was iffy when I put it together. My feelings were that I'd give it a shot and in the worst case scenario I can always download ... er ... purchase XP. This has since been resolved. Vista was recognizing the DVD drive in my Inspiron 9400 as a CD drive. Update the driver and I am told that the installed driver is current. My solution, manually grab the current driver and manually cram it through. Yeah, MS dropped the ball on that one but that's not exactly a tough fix. Don't have it in you to do this? What do you do when your car doesn't start? If I can't fix it I call a mechanic. I don't blame the manufacturer. Well, sometimes I do. But I still call the mechanic. That's life. I put the people who buy a preassembled machine with preinstalled OS and preinstalled software from Best Buy having Vista issues in the same boat as someone who buys a Chrysler and is shocked afterwards at what a crappy car they got. Probably won't ever get Best Buy or Chrysler as a sponsor now. That's OK; they're both in financial trouble right now. May not matter anyway.

This is post 2 for my blog and I hope this isn't coming across as an Apple Hater blog. I'm leaning toward news and technology that I have an opinion on. I just couldn't resist the rant. Apple doesn't put out a bad machine, pretty reliable, not bad looking, just doesn't work for me. I have pretty ingrained opinion on what hardware I want and what I want out of my computer and I really dislike the limitations that Apple itself sets on its own users. There are just not enough features or that killer Mac only app that makes me want to switch to a Mac. Just can't resist a dig at the fanatical side of Apple lovers. Positive that I'm not alone.

The World is Flat, According to iBol

2008-11-01T20:02:00.000-07:00

So why flat world? Before I get any posts like, “ uh iBol, you know I believe it to be round. Here’s some links to some photos from space ...” I thought it would be good to start off with some dialogue on the title. This was going to be a repository for my general thoughts and ramblings regarding current events, news and miscellaneous garbage (moments of accidental inspiration?)

I started in the direction of “The World According to iBol” or something to that affect but subsequent to some afterthought it seemed on the egocentric side. I would like to say it came to me in a dream or something more profound but more like in the form of semi drunken rambling thoughts that became something more.

The World was flat at some point in history. It had to be. Take a step back in time into the shoes of the average Joe Hunter/Gatherer being told we are all standing on a giant ball in space. Would make me want to club the wacko and take his tools and fire for myself. Not until you can prove or explain the logic of the roundness of our planet can a reasonable person accept that it is. C’mon admit it. Wouldn’t you want to give Galileo a smack in the back of the head? Or at the very least crack some jokes about him hitting the Laudanum a little too hard before lunch.

My observations of our society now is that we are moving toward insane acceptance for every Copernicus out there regardless of how wacked out their ideas may be. Yeah, I know, every person has a right to an opinion. But if my opinion is that you are full of crap (I have young kids who may read this) you should be told so. Having said that I’m expecting to be told I’m full of crap; hopefully it stays as clean as that.

Back in 2006 here in Calgary a man hired another to murder a local banker (finance guy) as a result of some failed business (WTF kind of business?) deal. Here’s the kicker. Hit man’s defence? Should not be tried for murder, should be manslaughter since he did not expect him to die using such a small calibre gun; he was shot with a 22. Couple that with suing for being burned by coffee that’s too hot and slipping and falling on ice (what did you think could happen on ice?) we’ve legislated ourselves closer and closer to the brink of insanity.

In our quest toward a more enlightened and just society we have lost track of common sense. Not that we don’t have the ability to use common sense; according to the law as it is written we are no longer allowed to use it. We already have a legion of lawyers in North America to defend the rights of wackos. We need to step back from this ideology and say, “No Copernicus you goofball, until you catapult your ass into space and snap me a pic I can’t accept your goofball theory”.

But no, this isn’t a forum for me to be blogging political or (semi?) intellectual ideas. This is more of a fishing expedition for me to post whatever comes to mind and see who’s listening and what’s on their minds. I’ll probably lean toward tech, what’s new and what bugs me about it.

I like comments. Just be clean. My kids may be reading. Or fire an e-mail. If it’s interesting I’ll likely be blogging about you.